


The High Cost Of Passion

by StellarLibraryLady



Series: Plant Life [30]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Established Relationship, Fanfiction, Humor, M/M, Naughty Minthe, Parental Responsibility, Passion, Plant Parents, Protective Fred, Reckless Behavior, Scattered Clothing, Sexual practices, broken furniture, disgust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 18:21:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12463287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellarLibraryLady/pseuds/StellarLibraryLady
Summary: Practicing sexual techniques suggested by fan fiction literature leaves McCoy and Spock unimpressed, then they discover another negative result of giving into their passion with wild abandon.





	The High Cost Of Passion

“Well, I don’t know if I’m exactly crazy about that activity,” McCoy said with disgust as they emerged from their bedroom, bleary-eyed and rumpled. He paused to stretch kinks out of his back and even noted a few darkening bruises on his body.

“Perhaps these activities should just be read about and not practiced,” Spock said as he returned the illustrated sex book to its home in a drawer. “Perhaps fan fiction stories are simply dreams of what could be.”

“You keep on thinking that,” McCoy muttered. He knew that Spock was disappointed in their recent adventures in the bedroom. But not even Starfleet officers in their prime of life and best fitness could perform some of those contortions without regretting it later. 

Already places on McCoy were hurting. Hell, muscles had gotten pulled unnaturally! Limbs weren’t meant to bend in the odd directions they’d just been bent without letting their disapproval known. Strained muscles protested everywhere on McCoy. He supposed that he should feel lucky that he was still walking upright. 

It’d serve the Vulcan right to have to explain to the medical team why their head doctor had a leg locked around the back of his head. Well, their maneuvers hadn’t gotten that wild, but there were times when McCoy thought that nothing was taboo to try.

“Look at that!” McCoy muttered. “Clothes everywhere! A lamp on the floor! It looks like a maniac got loose in here!”

“Well, the mood did come on you rather quickly, Leonard. You were rather stimulated by what I was reading to you.”

“Don’t try to blame that on me! I’m not the sex fiend in this room!”

“And I am not the one who tackled you in your chair and sent us both to the floor in a sprawling heap,” Spock said as he picked up his chair. “It is a wonder that something was not broken.”

“Something besides the chair, you mean? How are we ever going to explain that repair to supply?“

“We? I had no part in breaking the chair. I was merely the recipient of your gusto and ardor.“

“Don’t play so innocent! You weren’t exactly fighting me off! And why the hell were you reading that type of literature to me, anyway?! I think you did it just to get me turned on, and you did not give one hell in a Hades lightening storm about the consequences!“

“How colorful is your speech tonight, Leonard.“

“You mean, even though I don’t have lovemaking on my mind, anymore? Anything within hearing and seeing distance knows what went on in here! Oh, no!” McCoy said, suddenly remembering.

“What, Leonard? Is something wrong?”

“The plants! We forgot the plants! They were in here! We have to do something about them!”

They both looked at Minthe and Fred sitting on the shelf together.

“I think it is too late, Leonard.”

Fred had his Boston fern fronds spread over Minthe as much as possible. Presumably, it was so that she couldn‘t hear or see what had gone on when their plant parents had been caught up in the throes of passion. But parts of the mint plant were peeking out. Minthe hadn’t missed a thing, voyeur and hussy that she was. 

But she did have the grace to be blushing a dark green. Fred thought that it was a very becoming tint on her. He would try to protect his sweet Southern Belle from anything, even the erratic action caused by the libidos of their plant parents.

“You might as well bring them into the bedroom, then,” McCoy mumbled. “They know what’s going on, anyway.”

“No, Leonard. We will do what parents have done down through the millennia when their amorous adventures have been witnessed by their offspring. We will explain to them that kind of behavior is a means for parents to express their love for each other.”

“And you believe that they will understand your explanation?”

“Oh, certainly, Leonard. They are both quite intelligent plants.”

McCoy wanted to get Spock’s spin on Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, but he decided to leave that for another day.

“And you’re planning on doing this explanation now?”

“The sooner, the better. Otherwise, their imaginations will envision scenarios much worse than the reality. They might have even worried that I was trying to kill you.”

“I worried about that myself at several points. Death by Vulcan. Yes, sir, what a way to go. That would put kind of a flair to the end of my life, that‘s for damn sure.”

“Leonard, you flatter me,” Spock murmured, clearly pleased by what McCoy had said. “I suppose that I am very talented in the art of lovemaking, but I cannot conceive that I could actually kill my partner with my ardor.”

“I’ll be the judge of that. Of course, I might have to have more demonstrations of your technique so I can be certain.” He nearly leered. “I lot more demonstrations, whenever and wherever you’re up to it.”

“It will be my pleasure, Leonard.”

They gazed at each other in perfect understanding, then remembered the watching plants and pulled themselves back to their present situation.

McCoy cleared his throat. “Well, now you have to reassure the plants that my survival was intentional and not merely a miracle.”

Spock breathed deeply. “You are right, Leonard. Well, to use one of your more apt expressions, here it goes.”

McCoy had to stop himself from asking about where they were going. The imp in him wanted to get back at Spock for all of his questioning about idioms.

“You will stay and listen to me, so the plants know that we are a united front?”

“Of course.” McCoy felt honored. Who else in the universe would be privileged enough to witness what he was going to get to hear and see?

“Well, wish me luck,” Spock said bravely as he stepped toward the waiting plants.

This oughta be good, McCoy thought as he followed his bond mate.

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing of Star Trek, its characters, and/or its story lines.


End file.
